lean on me
by spencergaystings
Summary: "Are you alright?" She heard Hanna asking, and she could feel the green eyes searching for the mocha ones. Spencer shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that. Spencer&Hanna Friendship;


It doesn't matter how much she tries to hide it - she feels lonely.

When she was a younger, about 8 years or so, she started noticing some perks in being the younger Hastings. Melissa, her older sister, was always the one who her parents would stick with. It doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong, Melissa was a better option.

Spencer remembers this one time when Melissa ate the last piece of cake that was left in the fridge, a leftover from their father's birthday party, and when he asked who ate it, Melissa said it was Spencer, and when she tried to defend herself, her parents got mad at her for lying and implying Melissa was the guilty one and sent her to her bedroom. Things got worse and worse by the moment they started growing up, Melissa accomplishing all of her objectives in life and Spencer staying behind, nothing but a shadow no one cared about.

That was when she met Alison DiLaurentis, though. With Alison, she felt like she truly belonged, like everyone actually cared about her and felt like she had 4 friends who cared and loved her.

But then Ali disappeared and everything went to hell. Of course Spencer isn't a saint, but she always tries so hard, it's hard to impress your parents when they don't even seem to notice you exist. When you're nothing but a simple shadow making room in a big house like the Hastings' residence.

A complication.

When Spencer met Toby Cavanaugh, when she became a person of interest in Alison's death, she became more aware of the fact that she isn't the only one to feel left out in her own family. They had this in common, the feeling of not belonging in your own house, in your own family, the feeling of not being comfortable in your own skin.

But that changed after Toby and Spencer became more close, though. They became more aware of the fact that they were similar in many aspects of their lives. They needed each other.

When Toby left, Spencer felt alone, empty, and the feeling that she used to have before she met him came back to her like an old friend, taking away every single piece of happiness that had been introduced for the first time in her life, leaving nothing but misery.

Spencer found herself sitting on Rosewood's park bench, staring ahead but not really seeing anything. It was the beginning of the evening, the sky was a mix of pink and orange, and the trees were forming big shapes on the ground, and Spencer felt a cold breeze mess her hair.

Hearing footsteps behind her, she tensed up and looked around, fear making its way towards her. Noticing it was only Hanna, she relaxed and got back to stare ahead.

She noticed Hanna sitting beside her on the bench and looking around, probably wondering what Spencer was doing sitting here by herself.

"How did you find me?" Spencer asked softly, looking at her best friend curiously. Hanna shrugged.

"When we were younger, you used to come here when you were upset, remember?" Hanna replied quietly and Spencer could see worry in her eyes. She got back to stare straight ahead.

"Are you alright?" She heard Hanna asking, and she could feel the green eyes searching for the mocha ones. Spencer shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that. "What are you thinking about?" Hanna tried again.

"I'm thinking about life." Spencer replied shrugging again and Hanna made a face.

"Sounds boring." She mumbled in a low voice and Spencer looked at her with a small smile. Hanna tried again, "All right. What about it?" She asked as if she didn't want to know, when both of them knew she was genuinely curious.

"You know, my life." Spencer said in a tone of voice that didn't imply that much of happiness, and Hanna frowned sadly. The girls knew Spencer wasn't doing very well after Toby left town, and with all the drama with her parents hiding the truth about Jason. They knew Spencer's life wasn't like theirs, she didn't have the same relationship they had with their parents, and they knew this bothered her. And to be honest? Hanna thinks her parents are really stupid to treat their daughter like that. Spencer's awesome, and funny, and caring and kind, and the best friend they could ever ask for.

Spencer worked too hard to make her parents proud, and Hanna's pretty sure that if she made that much of an effort with her homework, her mom would be bragging about her with strangers at the market while shopping and would never complain about anything. But Spencer's parents weren't like that, and are always forcing Spencer to be the best at everything, to be perfect, and Hanna thinks that may be the reason for her best friend to be so uptight about things, and she thinks that sucks, because her best friend might never actually enjoy life with a family like that.

That's why Hanna just smiles softly and hugs Spencer's shoulders, and kisses her hair when her best friend starts crying. Because she knows that Spencer needs comfort, needs company, needs to feel loved and taken care of. She knows Spencer needs someone to tell her she's trying too hard, and she knows she needs someone to tell her that she's doing just fine.

Because she knows that at the end of the day, Spencer needs someone to lean on.


End file.
